Melissa Febos
Sometimes a book hits you hard. It’s exactly what you need to evolve. As if the writer was reading your soul.
My 2026 journal is filled with quotes from The Dry Season, which spoke to me and deeply moved me. As if Melissa Febos had written it for my benefit. Some of my favorite quotes:
“My romantic relationshp had frequently been sites of obsession and squandered energy, but they had also been the grounds upon which I had grown up, leanred to care for others, practiced tolerance and patience, and experienced true intimacy. I did not want to dismiss my romantic relationships wholesale as pathological, onlyy move toward those truer forms of love and a more balanced life.”
And this one slayed me. She describes something so profound and so real that it takes my breath away:
“That kind of breach was not just a betyrayal of the beloved, but of the self. it necessitated a sort of dream state, a disassociation from love. The ecstasy of limerence, projected onto a new person. The mania of obsession precluded empathy and made it easier to break the heart of someone I loved. It isn’t callousness that leads most people to cheat their way out of long-term relationships, but often its opposite. They grasp for the heart-anesthetizing ppower of new infatuation, which enables them to commit the necessary violence of breaking up. Or, their betrayal forces the responsibility upon their betrayed partners. Having done it myself, I am not without sympathy, but it’s the coward’s way. whether ghosting or cheating or pleasing, avoidance in relationships was always selfish, I was learning.”
I also loved Body Work, which helped me while writing my memoir by offering ways to consider the impact it might have on others. A code of ethics that embraces both authenticity and self-compassion. High on my reading list are her other books, Girlhood, Whipsmart, and Abandon Me.